The terms tradition and gay haven't had a long enough relationship to coexist in the same sentence without raising some eyebrows, and trying to incorporate traditions based on gender-defined rules in a relationship can cause madness. For example, proposals are often characterized by a man asking a woman to marry him with a diamond ring thrown in to signify the upgrade in relationship status. So, what happens when two dudes are reaching that time in their lives and want that same upgrade?
Who proposes to whom?
Do you propose with a ring?
Does the ring have a diamond on it?
Do you each get a ring?
Are they matching?
Is it even legal?
Madness.
For Joe and I, we talked about weddings, rings, what we liked, what we didn't like, etc. Yet, we never really discussed who would ask, when, how, and the other questions all our friends/coworkers have asked over the previous few years.
This is where the fun came in.
It became a race of two plotting gays.
I put in an order for matching rings, custom made of carbon fiber with meteorite and stardust inlays that sparkle blue like twilight. Unique and subtly flashy, yet professional for both our corporate jobs. How did I get Joe's ring size? Well, I got him drunk on wine and convinced him to take some nyquil, allowing me to size his finger while he was sleeping.
In deciding how to propose, I asked myself, 'What defines our relationship,' 'what matters the most to us,' and 'what makes us happy.'
Family
Friends
Traveling
Experiencing new things
Good food and drinks
The Plan
I decided to invite our closest friends and family out to Chicago to celebrate the proposal, which would take place at one of our favorite spots - a bridge overlooking Lincoln Park, zoo, and the Chicago skyline. Pending a said 'Yes,' we would all board a trolley to ride around Chicago and bar hop our favorite establishments. Then, the following day Joe and I would continue the celebrations down in Walt Disney World.
After personally calling all our closest friends/family, everyone was excited and definitely on board with the plan. I became more and more excited and could easily blame it on Disney, but I likewise became more and more nervous that Joe would find out because of everyone texting/calling me and my ravenous nervous snacking. Fortunately, Joe never suspected anything.
Now, how do I get Joe to the zoo...in the middle of winter...the night before we leave for Disney? I simply tell him the zoo is having a special members-only birthday party for the red pandas and to meet me there after my 'dentist appointment.' So natural.
The Big [Freezing, Hectic, Starving, Sleep Deprived] Day
Naturally, during the warmest winter in recorded history, the day I propose happens to be the coldest, windiest day in Chicago.
2pm: Everyone arrives into Chicago. Carter is frantic. Joe is singing Disney songs.
5pm: Everyone meets on the bridge an hour before Joe is scheduled to arrive. Carter is hyperventilating. Joe is shopping and listening to Disney songs.
5:10pm: Frostbite sets in. Everyone is huddled together to keep warm and blow up lighted balloons to set the mood. Carter is dancing around in the honeycomb pavilion. Joe buys Carter a coat because he knows he'll be cold...still listening to Disney songs.
5:15pm: Everyone is yelling at Carter to make Joe come quicker. Carter is too cold to use the phone. Joe, on the bus, begins having suspicions...finds out the zoo is closed, not having any events going on that evening, and that it's sunset (He always knew I would propose at sunset).
5:25pm: Joe arrives. Everyone surprises him. Joe is confused. Hugs. Carter is frozen solid down in the honeycomb pavilion...singing 'the cold never bothered me anyway.'
5:27pm: Joe walks down to the honeycomb pavilion. Everyone on the bridge watches anxiously. Carter is still frozen.
5:28pm: Joe reaches out for Carter's hand to hold and warm up. Carter tries to speak, but can't move his mouth. Joe thinks Carter's face is numb from the dentist.
5:29pm: Carter says some nice things and falls while getting down on one knee. Everyone on the bridge is cheering.
5:30pm: Carter asks Joe to marry him. Joe says yes, grabs ring, and puts on wrong finger.
5:31pm: Carter and Joe run up to everyone on the bridge. Hugs. Everyone runs to the trolley to warm up and ride off into the sunset to celebrate the newly engaged.
The evening consisted of the everyone riding around Chicago to see some of our favorite sights and bars. It was a memorable night of merriment and celebration. We are both so so so thankful to all those who braved the cold to join us and make it such a spectacular night.
